Here we go again

You know, I've gotten several comments on how great things are for us and so on, and they are usually. But we do have our struggles and in the interest of honesty I'll share that side tonight.

Ginger is a task to manage. She was (My opinion) abused as a child, and occasionally demonstrates some odd attitudes. For instance when we all first got together she was washing dishes at Mary Ann and my house (Ginger hadn't moved in yet) and Mary Ann and I were sitting at the table having gotten our chores done already so we could chat. We were joking and laughing and trying to include Ginger. Ginger became snarky and when I finally got to the bottom of it, it turned out Ginger felt we were sitting there just to laugh AT her, not with her. Understand we were not joking about her or referencing her at all. We were just having a normal conversation that made us happy so we occasionally laughed. We were even a bit miffed because Ginger was plainly ignoring us, even when we tried to draw her into the conversation.

On another occasion she was angry for months over the fact that Mary Ann had a new robe at Gingers apartment in case she spent the night, but Ginger hadn't gotten a robe. Then one day she finally realized Mary Ann did not and never had had a robe at Ginger's place. Ginger just imagined it.

Jump forward to a few months ago. New house, new schedules, new rules. One new rule for Ginger, close the bedroom door when you go to bed. I asked and asked and asked. Then I cajoled and pestered. Finally I flat out told. Then I ordered, and the very next day I come bopping by to see the door wide open. I outright lose my temper, Ginger gets angry, and finally admits she wants the door open so she can hear me in the morning. The very reason I wanted it closed (I didn't want to disturb her). Now we worked that issue out, which is to say I never cared one way or another, until I was blatantly defied. So we agreed she could leave the door open as long as I didn't ever hear a complaint about moving around and turning on lights at dark-thirty a m. Then we obviously had to discuss the fact that I plainly said close the door, she plainly acknowledged me more than once, and then she plainly did exactly the opposite of what I wanted and what she agreed to. She's been frustrating me lately so I thought we could talk today. But another issue Ginger has is she does not answer her phone. I was to fetch her home this morning from my in-laws house where she'd been visiting, and when I finished work I sent a text saying I was on my way and she needed to get ready to go. I arrive, there's Ginger, oblivious. I said let's go and she just takes her time, doo-be-doo. I pick up the pile of stuff she leaves in the floor as she goes back to the guest bedroom to leisurely gather her things, when she comes back I'm standing there ready to roll, when she points out her shoes are in the pile of stuff I'm holding. I hand her the shoes and tell her to get them on and get to the car where I will be waiting. She comes out a few minutes later asking if I picked up her phone. "No I didn't" I say "I picked up the pile you had laying. You don't even know where your phone is do you? Because I sent a message saying to get ready to go", and there she sat when I arrived, still playing computer games. And know this, she almost never apologizes. When she does apologize it's usually for something not appropriate to apologize for, or too late to make any difference. This also pisses me off.

So we start to talk in the car, the main point being when I've told you a dozen times to be sure to answer your phone, you need to keep that phone handy and get it answered. we get home, walk in, arrange ourselves in the living room and have been home all of five minutes when I ask where her phone is, she stands up triumphantly and says "In my back pocket where I always keep it. Oh CRAP, It's not in my pocket!"

Right.

Because you try sooooo hard. And that's where our difference of opinion lies. She says she can't, I say she doesn't. Big difference. Because she could, she just doesn't.

So she get's the phone squared away, and we move on to other things. Now she did today what she always tries, which is to go completely unresponsive. I'm convinced it's a guilt trip thing, but it isn't entirely effective on me, I just keep talking. Today we discussed the bedroom door issue.

"Did you understand you were to close the door?"

"Yes"

"Did you close it?"

"no"

"So you just blatantly defied me?"

"Yes Sir"

we talked about several other things and finally she was just not even trying anymore so I told her to take a break and go to the store like she was pestering me to do. She says "OK But let's write down what we discussed and see if it's relevant in a week". I think this is silly, these are things that have been bothering me longer than a week, but I see no reason to point that out and just agree. She goes to the store and comes back later. We sit down to dinner and I pull out a log book to write these things down as she suggested. I have a couple of things down already, which she approves, and then I ask what exactly to write concerning the blatant disobedience. She throws a fit and now claims she was NOT defying me but trying to figure out how to communicate with me.

Seriously? Because I notice once you drove me past all patience and that got you riled up, just plain and simple English resolved the issue just fine and in just a few minutes. PLUS, I am constantly accused of turning things around, but when I point out that this looks a lot like turning things around she screams "Never mind" and stomps off.

So, it will probably work out yet again, but to be honest, I'm kind of getting sick of this shit.