This past weekend Ginger and I had the first full "Scene" any of the three of us have engaged in since the assault against us began in 2008. I know, amazingly long time isn't it? It started out spontaneously really. Mary Ann was off visiting family as she often does, Ginger and I were on our own for the evening. I had made dinner and called Ginger to table when I had a sudden urge. I sent Ginger back into our living room and removed her bra from under her shirt. I used it to bind her hands in front of her. I made one large plate of food for myself and had her sit at my feet. Then I fed her from my plate. I had put on some music that I like because it helps me unwind, and with Ginger so obviously content as she lay her head against my thigh and waited for her next bite, I felt myself relax as much as I have since the whole horror began. I can't say it was the same as it had been before, but it was as peaceful a feeling as I have known in a very long time. I remembered that the Ladies have said how a spanking can relax them. I wanted Ginger to feel this peace as well, so I put her head to the floor while she was still bound and paddled her ass with a paddle she made for me several years ago. I paddled her for several minutes, then turned her over to play with her as she lay on her back. She was extremely wet and her movements made it clear she was enjoying herself. I pulled her to her feet and hustled her to the bedroom where we made love for quite some time. When we were finished we lay in each others arms. I was feeling quite languorous and she seemed to feel the same. We didn't speak, we just relished the moment, the peace, and the presence of each other. It was still early in the evening but we both fell asleep and didn't rise until morning. It was a very pleasant evening.

The feeling didn't last, the next day I was back to feeling the anger, the pain, the loss which seems now to have become a part of my soul. These aren't the primary emotions I feel but they are like a constant background noise, ever present. It seems like this weekend should have been a milestone but, strangely, it doesn't feel like it. Perhaps it was more just one small stage of healing. Three years without that kind of interaction. I don't intend to go that long again. Still, it will be difficult. This is exactly what they used against us, our consensual but alternative relationship. Once you have experienced prejudice and hatred the way we have, it stays in the back of your mind always that you could be targeted for this.