Bob and weave

I got the word today, I have a week left at the job that provides about 60% of my income, along with all my health benefits. I was self employed for 10 years. I took a job with a big corporation after Mary Ann lost her position at her corporation because of her disabled condition. My new company has been awesome. So awesome in fact it makes me nervous. They quite literally started paying her medical expenses 12 hours after I qualified for the benefits. They sent me a number to call and a number to ID me one evening, and the next day the doctor's office called that number, spoke to the rep about 2 minutes, hung up the phone and said we were all good. I haven't had a problem since. I actually didn't get the ID card until about a week later. I'm waiting to find out it's all a scam and none of the bills have been paid or something. It was just too easy.

But they were always selling the property. I had planned to transfer to another one but they sold it too. They would like me to transfer about 4 states over. In fact I can choose between several locations, but they are all several states away. However Mary Ann's family lives here, and they have been very supportive and helpful during all of our troubles these last few years. No one wants to leave them. Also Ginger, despite her bombshell appearance, has a job in a very specific high tech industry doing some really advanced scientific stuff. So far she's introduced me to an electrical engineer, a theoretical physicist whom I later saw discussing his project on national T.V., and some guy whose job title I don't know, but who I do know they recruited from NASA about 7 or 8 years ago, before those guys were all getting laid off. So you see that this isn't the kind of work that you just transfer from company to company to do. Unfortunately it's also not the kind of job that pays big bucks either. Since we can't legally plural marry, none of her benefits are transferable to Mary Ann.

So, the hits just keep coming. But, we are together, I am free, we have what we really NEED, just less than we'd want and little breathing room financially. Things could certainly be worse. To be honest, I don't really like my job anyway. I sure liked knowing I could walk into any doctors office and get care for Mary Ann though. That part I'm going to need to get replaced.

What's in a name?

I always find it difficult to protect our privacy without sounding goofy, but I never know what to call my ladies when I write about them. Neither is the other, and both of them are wonderful individuals, so I feel a need to create cover names. I like some of the ones I've seen over the years, like the sub who refers to her dominant as "Bossman" or the teenager referred to as "WildChild", but I was having a hard time coming up with names for my Ladies. But a few days ago I stumbled acrossed an article about Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, and it began to percolate in my head that there was the answer.

One of my Ladies is the epitome of the good girl. Skipped school once in her life and got caught that time. In the 22 years we've been married she has gotten exactly one traffic ticket, for a burnt out tail light, which was dropped as soon as I popped a new bulb in and she drove it down to the cop shop to have the repair verified. She dresses and speaks conservatively, doesn't much like to be the center of attention, and had never had hard liquor before we met. He mother called my house one night at 11 p.m. looking for her because she had rarely been out so late and never without getting permission first, and at the time she was 20 years old. You see what I mean?

One of my Ladies has a 1940's Hollywood bombshell figure. She's former military, has been known to wear clothing that draws a lot of attention and she is a confirmed exhibitionist so sometimes she takes it off when people are around. She likes to drive fast and she is the only one of us to keep guns in the house. Not completely by choice, she has been on her own since she was 17 years old.

So it just occurred to me not long ago to call them Ginger and Mary Ann. That way I can avoid saying "The other Lady..." which I find a little insulting, even though apparently neither of the Ladies does since it seems to make perfect sense to them to refer to someone that way when there are two people involved. In any event, in the future Mary Ann will be what I call the Lady I married, and Ginger will be the Lady That the state wouldn't allow me to marry.

Me? Well think of me as having Gilligan's intelligence in the Skipper's body, and you'd not be far off.

This is not the point, but I need to say it.

The point of this blog is to remind me of the joys in my life, and to sort of keep me focused on the positive, because I have developed a habit of letting my attention drift towards the bad that has been inflicted upon us. However, I have just read about someones experience when it was let slip that they were submissive whilst getting a procedure in the hospital. It was nothing severe, but it was instantly interpreted by the nurse as negative. In response another person defended the nurses view, and explained they are trained to think that way, and even said something along the lines of better safe than sorry. Better safe than sorry makes everything O.K. I want to say no, it's not. It's not O.K. because it isn't safe to assume the worst. That attitude is referred to as "Thinking Dirty", and the term means medical and law enforcement personnel work from the base assumption that abuse happened. They begin their involvement from the assumption that the abuse they suspect is real, did happen, and never allow themselves to consider that possibly it is not or seek the truth about what is going on. That attitude hurts people.

I know it hurts people because that's what happened to us. I want to say to those that would defend society that even in an effort to protect the abused and oppressed it's not O.K. to out a family by name in the newspaper because you can not conceive of two smart, capable, strong willed women CHOOSING to love, much less obey, the same man. It's not O.K. to rip a child from their home on the off chance that there is some kind of abuse after that home has been investigated TWICE without a single indication of any abuse or neglect occurring. Especially after you have placed another child in the home while that child's parent was incarcerated because you certified it safe. It is definitely NOT O.K. for two adults to interrogate a child and then call the child a liar to their face when the child does not tell them what they want to hear because the child told the truth. It is not O.K. to so terrify the child that that child is afraid to reside anywhere in your state out of fear of being snatched and completely isolated and removed from their family by you. It is not O.K. to rip a mothers heart out by those same tactics resulting in her child being driven away. It is not O.K. to ruin a decades work building a business and a reputation with lies that you later admit you've never had any evidence of. It is not O.K. to imprison people for something you later admit you have never had any evidence of. It is not O.K. to cause so much stress and fear to a healthy person, especially one whom you actually classify as a victim that they suffer medically diagnosed PTSD on a par with soldiers enduring combat in the Middle East. Panic attacks and heart trouble and neurological disorder so intense that it results in medically diagnosed disability.

We were law abiding citizens in what purports to be a free country. We volunteer with the homeless and with disadvantaged children. We give blood regularly. We pay our taxes and help out with the neighborhood watch. We did our part and paid our share without complaint and when we went beyond even that out of our belief in helping others because it's the right thing to do, we were accused of having ulterior motives for no other reason than our lifestyle. Because apparently according to your beliefs alternative lifestyle people can't possibly be motivated by anything other than sex. Well here's a shock, that's not true! We were the people you were supposed to protect! Instead you tried to destroy us because you disapproved of our choice to share one anothers lives and love. And now you justify it by saying "Well abuse does sometimes happen, better safe than sorry"?

Let me point something out. While it is heinous enough that you were destroying our livelihood, maiming my Lady, causing severe mental distress to all of us and mentally and emotionally raping our young child, you were also utterly failing to protect whichever poor soul was actually being abused because you were distracted by your distaste for our choices. And you prevented us from being able to help as well. You increased the problem.

They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I'm not convinced of your good intentions. I think you want to force your views on others that do not share them. But none of that matters any more. I am convinced you will burn in Hell, because no matter what you say to try to justify all you've done, nothing of what you've done is ever O.K.

Just a quick point.

I was told today that poly never lasts. I've heard it said about D/s, DD, and a number of other alternative lifestyles. Seems like the first argument against anything not the norm is that it just can't work. In fact I've had a lot of people tell me their opinions about the way I live. An awful lot of them don't approve, don't like it, are quite certain it can't work, and are quite happy to be quite vocal about it. These folks are just dead certain that this kind of relationship simply can't last. They wait with baited breath for that moment when they can say "I told you so!" I'd like to tell these folks something and I'd like them to listen very carefully and consider what I'm about to say before they offer more opinions about the chances of success of my relationship.


Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary.


Anyone want to offer a toast?