It's odd how many things we do so completely differently than other alt families do. I was just reading Mouse's restaurant tale about how she subtly directs food orders to Omega, because they must be careful and she must defer in a way that seems natural. I'm in no way attempting to criticize or correct that notion, but uhm.... we don't do that. In fact it's never even crossed my mind to do that, even after we've been so persecuted for our choices. Maybe it should, I don't know. When we go out and the server asks one of the ladies for their order, the lady just smiles at the server and I say "She'll have this item". Granted, I've gotten a few confused looks for a moment, a couple of hostile glances, and even one knowing smile, but it's never been a problem. I also kiss the ladies (Either of them) in my front yard or driveway in broad daylight. I walk down the street with one on either side holding the hand of each on occasion.
We also have never really been secretive with our extended families. Recently I read about a M/M couple in their fifties who still outright hide their relationship from their families. One was a doctor and one a real estate agent. In their fifties....... And still hiding it? That must be awful! I admit until our situation was about to be published in the paper we never directly addressed it with our families, but we never hid the fact that Ginger lived with us or that I carried a financial responsibility for her. I will confess though, I was a bit surprised how many people said some variation of "Yeah, I thought so". It is wonderful to have so much acceptance and I know we are really lucky in that regard. I feel for people that aren't so lucky.
We're open with our service providers (Insurance, phone company, etc) as much as necessary. Now some might say "Why don't you make it a point?" Do you go out of your way to point out to your landlord or auto mechanic that you are fucking your partner? Do you make it an issue if they assume you are married or if they assume you are not? I'd bet you just live and do business. So do we.
I wonder sometimes what would happen if all of us came out from the shadows and got organized? There used to be a bumper sticker that said "The Moral Majority is neither" I wonder sometimes if we, the alternative lifestyle folks, aren't actually the norm, and they, the vanilla, are the minority alternative.
Hi Sir,
ReplyDeleteMost people in our everyday circles know that mouse gives deference to Omega in most things. They don't outright question mouse about it, tho early on they did watch him carefully -- or so that seemed. However if someone asked in a round about way if Omega is say HOH, mouse wouldn't deny it. It's highly likely they know it anyway. Friends have never, to her face, critiqued mouse about him. It isn't lost on mouse that they probably do accept that part of dynamic.
However, if someone questioned if mouse were paddled, spanked or 'beaten' mouse would flatly deny that. For us, we find it's best not to draw unneeded attention to ourselves in our day-to-day lives.
Your final thought is something that Omega has said for years and agrees with you. He also believes that more people than not are involved in some sort of power exchange relationship, even if it's hidden behind religious dogma.
Anyway, as always mouse enjoys your thoughts!
Hugs,
mouse
It's a tough line to walk - with strangers in public - or with our kids. I haven't asked my husband - but i know that he wants our boys to learn to respect women. He is of course very respectful of me - but some of the ways we interact could be interpreted as disrespectful or condescending or patronizing - if one didn't have the full story - which they do not. Very slippery thing indeed.
ReplyDeleteHi... we haven't seen each other in a while.. hope everything is going well.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your last thought... I think more than not have some sort of power exchange, and I think that some are not even so bright to realize that they have one! ;o)
If asked outright if S spanks me, I would probably laugh it off as a joke and S would probably deny it outright. We live in a small southern town and my guess is that I am not the minority that receives spankings.
In commenting to your post, I guess I have just realized that I have lived a secret life most of my adult life. You see, before I met and fell in love with S, I lived in a lesbian "marriage" for 7 years. Again... small southern town... "they" would be way more accepting of my being spanked and S being the HOH than coming out that I was living a lesbian lifestyle. I have to say that you are right that it is sad that people in their 50's can't come out... your right that would be horrible. Speaking as someone who hid for over 7 years... honestly it's something that you just get used to... and a luxury that most people can't afford to take!
I'm so glad that you and your ladies are able to live out reasonably comfortably but there will always be judgement where ever you go... no matter what your kink! ;o)