Beginning in the middle

This is not my first blog, but it still seems hard to get started. Let me just describe the point. I am a poly male that enjoys some aspects of BDSM but does not identify as BDSM lifestyle. I don't identify as lifestyle because I feel that BDSM as it is represents a disgrace to what it should be. I live with two wonderful women and we three have been involved in a long term relationship for several years. During the last few of those years, we have been relentlessly attacked for our choices. We have been attacked in criminal court (We won) in Civil court (We'll have to call that a draw) and by a few disapproving members of one Ladies family (We are still fighting).

I had expected to follow that arc of life we all have heard. Justice for all, work and save, stay committed and true, and at the end of life you will be able to relax and enjoy the fruits of the labor. But now my belief in our government and it's willingness to fulfill it's duties regarding the sanctity of our rights as citizens, as well as my faith in society as a whole, have been all but destroyed. Certainly my understanding of these things has been radically and permanently altered. I find myself at a point where I have little of my old life left. I feel as those that have fought a long and bloody war on their own soil must feel at the end. I am told I am victorious, for all the monumental battles are won. But there seems to be no spoils left to claim, and no country left to preserve. Only the ruined remnants of what was once the happiest place I'd ever known.

I have considered my options, and they seem to be only two in number. I can wallow in the pain of loss, or I can begin the long process of rebuilding from here, in the middle of my life. Quitting is something I don't do well, so I choose to begin to rebuild. The point of this blog is to function as a tool to help me to focus my energy and efforts on rebuilding the happiness and joy that was so pervasive in our lives prior to these attacks. I also hope that it serves as a chronicle of what poly life is really like. Perhaps this blog can be a tool for understanding, which could be a beginning of an ending to the hate and fear so many seem to have for polyamorous families. And finally I hope it serves as a meeting place for those with tolerant and/or even like-minded views, with whom I can converse and gain knowledge.